Ah, Michigan, I almost forgot why I left it. What a conga line of punishment for my error!
It began snowing just as I arrived, requiring a drive home in blizzard conditions. The temperature hit 70 degrees two days later. That same day, the house caught fire. No one was hurt, but the outside of one wall was completely destroyed.
I failed to observe a single day without overhearing at least fifty racial slurs. It was a climate of severe political unrest. Numerous people casually discussed civil war, war against the government or assassinating President Obama.
The chronic shortage of bullets in stores has been laid directly at the feet of the government as a mass conspiracy to keep people from stockpiling ammunition in preparation for the coming battle.
My sleeping patterns have been badly messed up.
Safe to say I’m not doing that again in the near future.